These next few things are on repeat on my playlist, (pretend) shopping list, Instagram, and YouTube meanderings...and snacks...snacks are essential...
Charlie Puth.
If we were playing a game of word association, the words "impish" and "prodigy" would come to mind. This young man is very talented, has the "it factor," has great management and (is probably taking their great advice...) is making some strategic collaborations that have resulted in several songs that will probably show up on "summer love" playlists for years to come.
If his sticky pop songs are not clinging to the insides of your brain, here they are for your listening (and viewing) pleasure!
Marvin Gaye
One Call Away
We Don't Talk Anymore
I have a nine track mind, too, Mr. Puth, and your songs are usually on repeat on at least three of them at one time.
On to my pretend shopping list...
Purses...
I'm a house divided when it comes to the Louis Vuitton "Capucines" bag. Do I like it or do I not. I think I do not. But if you do, power to you. It's lovely, structural, and pristine. It's just not to my liking. Not to mention the black leather is coming off navy blue on almost every YouTuber's channel...what's up with that?
Instagramming...
Kyle Krieger is not new to the game, nor is he new on my radar. He is, however, a self-taught photographer, an epic specimen of a man, a very sweet soul, a person who has not merely survived addiction, but is now thriving, and the brother of a kick-a$$ US Women's soccer player. (Ali Krueger)
This man's self-portraiture skills are unparalleled, and if you watch his YouTube channel, you find he's not at all vain, which is so refreshing in Insta-land.
Do you YouTube?
I'm still loving the twice-weekly trips into a fairytale life through the amazing photography and video-making skills of Lydia E. Millen and her partner, the British adonis, Ali Gordon, but I've also been captivated by some amazing TED Talks this week.
Kyle Krieger's TED Talk is one for the ages. His story is not unique, but his dramatic life change most certainly is. He is a light for so many. Do yourself a favor and listen to his story...you will be so very inspired.
This one was my favorite. Leila is now one of my heroes, and is a true pioneer, who, in her own words, has turned "their sh*t into fuel." Many women are about to step into her momentum, so watch out, world...here we come!
Watch and take notes. It may be the most well-spent 14 minutes of your week.
(P.S. Snacks.)
You cannot watch YouTube, surf Instagram or shop on the internet without the proper snacks. (Though looking at Kyle Krieger's Instagram may make you want to only eat arugula, order turmeric lattes and take ginger shots for the next ten years...).
In a recent trip to Trader Joes, I noted that they now have "Bollywood Popcorn." The glycemic index is to high for this princess, but if you're brave and bold and have tried such wonderment, please comment below.
Thursday, August 18, 2016
Saturday, August 13, 2016
Memories
Sometimes my heart is stirred and I remember things; in some of those times, I feel moved to share the things I remember.
When I was young, a woman shared her life story, including her plan to live fast, hard and dangerously, and then commit suicide when she turned twenty-one, as she was convinced that it was all downhill from there. At the time of this telling, she was in her early thirties. Turns out she'd had a child before she turned 21, so she decided to live.
As redemptive as the end of this story was, the seed had already been planted in my young teenaged mind, that I should most definitely commit suicide at twenty-one, as every adult I knew wanted to die, or seemed to live a miserable life.
Flash forward about seven years, and you'd see me running, for the first time in my life. It was the day after my twenty-first birthday, early in the morning, and I was running in the garden of the hospital where I saw my therapist once a week. I was pondering the aforementioned scene, pondering my life, and whether or not I should end it...and whether or not to tell my therapist I had been pondering this.
The year between my twentieth and twenty-first birthday was the most transitional, most horrifying, most miraculous year of my life...I had almost died, and things had changed so drastically, it was as if I had stepped into the life of an entirely different person.
I ran home to get ready for work, and on the train, I knew something was wrong. As I alighted in Chicago's major tourist area, Michigan Avenue, masses of people pressed toward me, trying to board the train. I continued to walk through the masses of people and found my way to the major retailer where I was scheduled to start at 11a.m.
I saw the group of shop-girls I worked with, including my favorite shift manager. Just as my brain registered that it was she, and that today would be much more fun than I'd anticipated since she would be working, she said, "...honey, you can go home."
I thought I'd been fired. She said that in light of everything that had happened, and since our location was directly across from the John Hancock building, (Chicago's second-highest building), we were being evacuated.
I needed money, and I had no idea what was going on. I think I had a cell phone, and my roommate had an old TV, which I never watched, so I had no idea what had happened. I boarded the train home, and everyone was whispering. I made it back to my apartment to find my half-Persian roommate on the living room floor in front of the television...WAILING.
My birthday is September the 10th. This was the day after, and the year was 2001.
A million things crossed my mind. She kept wailing that the world was ending. I think I remember laughing out loud. "Perhaps this was what was meant to happen all along," I thought to myself. "I won't have to kill myself...the world is probably ending and God was taking care of the deed for me..."
I did what any logical person would do. I packed a lunch, and marched off to find my therapist.
I lived about a mile from his office in the old, rustic hospital...on the other side of the projects. When I walked back outside, away from my wailing, wild-haired, housemate and the tracks of her tears full of last night's kohl and mascara, and a thousand questions...
It seems odd that I'd go to find my therapist, and more so that I'd know his schedule that well...
I found him having lunch, and asked if I could join him. He obliged. I asked him if the world were ending, and if I should just give up.
He looked at me, exasperated. (...he'd just spent 6 months putting me back together...and here I was, like a painstakingly restored, priceless vase, asking for permission to throw myself off the shelf...)
It was surreal. At that moment, an airplane flew over...but as we were blocks from the Sears Tower...there was a moment where we probably both thought...well, you know...that it was another plane...
I remember him saying something about the Saudi Royal family being allowed to leave the country...maybe it was them...we were also close to a government air strip, which has since been closed...so one will never know who it was.
He looked at me and said something to the effect that he didn't know if the world was ending...
So I left, and found my favorite perch...a large window ledge in the vast hospital lobby, across from the chapel. I often went to the hospital lobby to read, as I barely had heat in my apartment, and had no air conditioning at all. The security guard came over to move me off of it, but he recognized me, smiled and let me be.
I remember sitting on that window ledge, listening to the eerie silence. (...no cars in the usually busy intersection below, no airplanes flying over...no bustle on the sidewalks below...) It was there that I decided to live. I did not have the slightest clue what was happening, but I decided to live. I was alive, and I was not going to end my life, or allow anyone else to take it from me...
When I was young, a woman shared her life story, including her plan to live fast, hard and dangerously, and then commit suicide when she turned twenty-one, as she was convinced that it was all downhill from there. At the time of this telling, she was in her early thirties. Turns out she'd had a child before she turned 21, so she decided to live.
As redemptive as the end of this story was, the seed had already been planted in my young teenaged mind, that I should most definitely commit suicide at twenty-one, as every adult I knew wanted to die, or seemed to live a miserable life.
Flash forward about seven years, and you'd see me running, for the first time in my life. It was the day after my twenty-first birthday, early in the morning, and I was running in the garden of the hospital where I saw my therapist once a week. I was pondering the aforementioned scene, pondering my life, and whether or not I should end it...and whether or not to tell my therapist I had been pondering this.
The year between my twentieth and twenty-first birthday was the most transitional, most horrifying, most miraculous year of my life...I had almost died, and things had changed so drastically, it was as if I had stepped into the life of an entirely different person.
I ran home to get ready for work, and on the train, I knew something was wrong. As I alighted in Chicago's major tourist area, Michigan Avenue, masses of people pressed toward me, trying to board the train. I continued to walk through the masses of people and found my way to the major retailer where I was scheduled to start at 11a.m.
I saw the group of shop-girls I worked with, including my favorite shift manager. Just as my brain registered that it was she, and that today would be much more fun than I'd anticipated since she would be working, she said, "...honey, you can go home."
I thought I'd been fired. She said that in light of everything that had happened, and since our location was directly across from the John Hancock building, (Chicago's second-highest building), we were being evacuated.
I needed money, and I had no idea what was going on. I think I had a cell phone, and my roommate had an old TV, which I never watched, so I had no idea what had happened. I boarded the train home, and everyone was whispering. I made it back to my apartment to find my half-Persian roommate on the living room floor in front of the television...WAILING.
My birthday is September the 10th. This was the day after, and the year was 2001.
A million things crossed my mind. She kept wailing that the world was ending. I think I remember laughing out loud. "Perhaps this was what was meant to happen all along," I thought to myself. "I won't have to kill myself...the world is probably ending and God was taking care of the deed for me..."
I did what any logical person would do. I packed a lunch, and marched off to find my therapist.
I lived about a mile from his office in the old, rustic hospital...on the other side of the projects. When I walked back outside, away from my wailing, wild-haired, housemate and the tracks of her tears full of last night's kohl and mascara, and a thousand questions...
It seems odd that I'd go to find my therapist, and more so that I'd know his schedule that well...
I found him having lunch, and asked if I could join him. He obliged. I asked him if the world were ending, and if I should just give up.
He looked at me, exasperated. (...he'd just spent 6 months putting me back together...and here I was, like a painstakingly restored, priceless vase, asking for permission to throw myself off the shelf...)
It was surreal. At that moment, an airplane flew over...but as we were blocks from the Sears Tower...there was a moment where we probably both thought...well, you know...that it was another plane...
I remember him saying something about the Saudi Royal family being allowed to leave the country...maybe it was them...we were also close to a government air strip, which has since been closed...so one will never know who it was.
He looked at me and said something to the effect that he didn't know if the world was ending...
So I left, and found my favorite perch...a large window ledge in the vast hospital lobby, across from the chapel. I often went to the hospital lobby to read, as I barely had heat in my apartment, and had no air conditioning at all. The security guard came over to move me off of it, but he recognized me, smiled and let me be.
I remember sitting on that window ledge, listening to the eerie silence. (...no cars in the usually busy intersection below, no airplanes flying over...no bustle on the sidewalks below...) It was there that I decided to live. I did not have the slightest clue what was happening, but I decided to live. I was alive, and I was not going to end my life, or allow anyone else to take it from me...
Thursday, August 11, 2016
First steps to becoming fit...
A few years ago, I worked with a brilliant health counselor who had studied with Dr. Mark Hyman.
She had done everything in her power to research nutrition, as all three of her children had differing, life-threatening food allergies. She had spent her life cooking between three and four separate meals-- at each mealtime-- knowing that one missed crumb of food during prep time or at the dinner table could be life-threatening.
She so inspired me, both as a mom, as a student and as an entrepreneur. Maybe I'll write more about her soon.
She gave me a complimentary consult, because I've had my own struggle with nutrition. I was both a ballerina and a body builder. My metabolism was so high, I was constantly being accused of being anorexic...but that's a story for another day.
Rather than loading me down with supplements, she took one look at my distended abdomen and said I needed to sleep more and drink more water.
After almost 15 years over-training, consuming cheap whey or SOY protein, and working non-stop, six days a week, here I was, perpetually tired, unable to lose weight, too exhausted to work out, and suffering from heart palpitations. I finally saw said counselor. She also addressed the same thing every other doctor/friend/relative/client/physical therapist had told me...sleep. (...she also insisted I start on a strict regime of bone broth, green smoothies and colon cleansing...)
In order to be healthy, you HAVE TO SLEEP!
I'm still struggling with this. I refuse to take pills, I'm not disciplined enough to do the rubbing-on of every type of relaxing essential oil to the bottoms of my feet every single night...and as a trainer, I don't have the luxury of a set sleep schedule. I have clients who want sessions at 5:30 in the morning, and I teach group ex classes until 8:30 or 9p.m. at night, and often a nightly commute that often entailed an hour on public transit of some sort, a few miles walk thought very tough neighborhoods, and for about 9 months out of the year, some sort of frozen precipitation.
Further, I was raised to be a very hard worker, and I'm my sole provider of income, so the thought of foregoing my livelihood in order to sleep a bit more always seemed ludicrous to me.
But I needed sleep, and I needed to set boundaries for myself in order to make this happen. (...note...I now live a very different life in perpetually sunny, northern California. I have a very dependable old Honda, so the trekking through urban jungle subway tunnels and black-ice-encrusted streets in the middle of disputed gang territory is a thing of the past...). But I still have the same career, and I'm also a full-time student, so I'm still struggling with setting up a cohesive sleep regimen.
The next step is not exercise, or nutrition, but taking in adequate amounts of water. I currently drink out of the tap...don't ask, but I know my local health food store provides alkalized water...byob...for about 20 cents for five gallons. I also live about 45 minutes from one of the purest mountain springs on the planet, but don't think for a minute I'm one of those people who will drive that far to fill up water bottles. (...but you can bet your britches that if that mountain spring were next to a Barney's I'd be there in a hot second...)
So there you have it. Sleep and drink water. So simple, yet so challenging. I'm on this journey with the rest of you!
First world probs, I know.
Also, before I sign off...here's a freebie for you...sleeping burns more calories than watching television...
Alrighty then, to your health!
Cheers and peace!
xoxoxo,
A.
She had done everything in her power to research nutrition, as all three of her children had differing, life-threatening food allergies. She had spent her life cooking between three and four separate meals-- at each mealtime-- knowing that one missed crumb of food during prep time or at the dinner table could be life-threatening.
She so inspired me, both as a mom, as a student and as an entrepreneur. Maybe I'll write more about her soon.
She gave me a complimentary consult, because I've had my own struggle with nutrition. I was both a ballerina and a body builder. My metabolism was so high, I was constantly being accused of being anorexic...but that's a story for another day.
Rather than loading me down with supplements, she took one look at my distended abdomen and said I needed to sleep more and drink more water.
After almost 15 years over-training, consuming cheap whey or SOY protein, and working non-stop, six days a week, here I was, perpetually tired, unable to lose weight, too exhausted to work out, and suffering from heart palpitations. I finally saw said counselor. She also addressed the same thing every other doctor/friend/relative/client/physical therapist had told me...sleep. (...she also insisted I start on a strict regime of bone broth, green smoothies and colon cleansing...)
In order to be healthy, you HAVE TO SLEEP!
I'm still struggling with this. I refuse to take pills, I'm not disciplined enough to do the rubbing-on of every type of relaxing essential oil to the bottoms of my feet every single night...and as a trainer, I don't have the luxury of a set sleep schedule. I have clients who want sessions at 5:30 in the morning, and I teach group ex classes until 8:30 or 9p.m. at night, and often a nightly commute that often entailed an hour on public transit of some sort, a few miles walk thought very tough neighborhoods, and for about 9 months out of the year, some sort of frozen precipitation.
Further, I was raised to be a very hard worker, and I'm my sole provider of income, so the thought of foregoing my livelihood in order to sleep a bit more always seemed ludicrous to me.
But I needed sleep, and I needed to set boundaries for myself in order to make this happen. (...note...I now live a very different life in perpetually sunny, northern California. I have a very dependable old Honda, so the trekking through urban jungle subway tunnels and black-ice-encrusted streets in the middle of disputed gang territory is a thing of the past...). But I still have the same career, and I'm also a full-time student, so I'm still struggling with setting up a cohesive sleep regimen.
The next step is not exercise, or nutrition, but taking in adequate amounts of water. I currently drink out of the tap...don't ask, but I know my local health food store provides alkalized water...byob...for about 20 cents for five gallons. I also live about 45 minutes from one of the purest mountain springs on the planet, but don't think for a minute I'm one of those people who will drive that far to fill up water bottles. (...but you can bet your britches that if that mountain spring were next to a Barney's I'd be there in a hot second...)
So there you have it. Sleep and drink water. So simple, yet so challenging. I'm on this journey with the rest of you!
First world probs, I know.
Also, before I sign off...here's a freebie for you...sleeping burns more calories than watching television...
Alrighty then, to your health!
Cheers and peace!
xoxoxo,
A.
Friday, July 29, 2016
Wonder Women (...this week's adventures at The Stirring...)
Goodness!
I found I forgot to hit "Publish" on this post...here you go...hope you enjoy!
Today, I thought I'd write about some highlights from my week, which mostly involve...
The Stirring Coffeehouse
( Ok, so...I've just discovered that The Stirring Coffeehouse has no website. (?!?!) I've linked you to their Instagram...)
As I was sitting at The Stirring on Monday, two lovely women walked in, and were aghast. One was from Dallas, one from Marin County, and they were driving from Ashland, Oregon, back to Marin, having celebrated the latter woman's birthday, over the weekend.
The Stirring is a church, and it's coffee house is spectacular, but is surrounded by auto mechanics, an auto parts store, and the huge, sterile post office. It's in a horrible part of Redding, just off of I-5...and it's AMAZING. (I am from Chicago, and we have such places as Intelegencia, Metropolis, Le Colombe, and, well, the coffee game is strong.)
...and The Stirring is better. The coffee is just on par with those places, with two main local roasters supplying beans. The nitro cold brew is a highlight, and they have hemp milk, which is a must for me. Because real estate is cheap, it's a massive place, the acoustics are perfect...you can hear your coffee buddy using conversational voice over the perfectly mixed music, and the general coffeehouse "buzz"...but not the conversation at the table next to you, if that makes sense...
ANYWAY...
Said women came in, were in wonder, and one sat down at my table, curious as to what I was writing. We chatted for a bit...turns out she is Israeli, just had a birthday, and loves Shakespeare. (Thus her birthday trip to Ashland...I thought perhaps she was a witch, as people in Ashland tend to be into such things, and sometimes witches are quite beautiful...as was this woman...but I digress.)
We exchanged information, and after she left, I googled her. (...as it's terribly impolite to Google someone in their presence...) Turns out she is one of the most accomplished movement teachers in the United States, helped to pioneer the use of the foam roller in modern rehabilitative practices, and is one of the top Feldenkrais teachers in the world.
Right. Just your typical Monday. In the middle of nowhere, just off of I-5.
Maari Christiante.
Maari is a legend. I am so honored that she's my friend. Her art is whimsical and other-worldly...it takes you places! She's an artist from Austin, Texas, and is here doing school with me. Did I mention she's amazing?!
We ran into each other at the Stirring several times this week, and during one such meeting, she challenged me to celebrate my failures...which is proof that I've made an attempt at something new. It made me realize how much I avoid failure...I think I'm going to write more on this topic!
(...the very fact that I'm writing this blog is a celebration of failure! I explained to her that my ability does not match my taste. She said write anyway. So here you have it...)
...but yes, Maari is a legend.
Gill K.
Today, I had the pleasure of having coffee with my friend, Gill. (...at The Stirring, of course...) As Gill is a proper Brit, she had English Breakfast Tea. She is an EPIC woman...she survived breast cancer, using juicing, supplements, exercise and lots and lots of prayer. She's been successful in the corporate sector, and has also done charity and mission work in some very tough places.
I was feeling really discouraged today, but she broke it off of me, in Jesus' name, and reminded me of the power of the cross of Jesus. She is a true lioness...so strong and powerful!
So there you have it...my adventures in coffee houses...mostly in the Stirring...this week...oh, and as I knocked my French Press off the counter as I was prepping my morning coffee, and it shattered into a million pieces, which meant I went to Starbucks this morning...no adventures to report...just my favorite barista there, Bonnie. Bonnie is amazing...she remarked on my sequined Nine West computer case...we both agree sparkly things are "neutrals" and should be worn with everything. (Her glasses and her name tag were rhinestone encrusted...:-)
So that's a wrap! I'm so thankful for these people-treasures who light up my life! (...and for great ambiance, artistry through coffee...)
Cheers and peace!
p.s. These photos are not my own...they are from the internet...xoxo, A.
I found I forgot to hit "Publish" on this post...here you go...hope you enjoy!
Today, I thought I'd write about some highlights from my week, which mostly involve...
The Stirring Coffeehouse
( Ok, so...I've just discovered that The Stirring Coffeehouse has no website. (?!?!) I've linked you to their Instagram...)
My current favorite table. I've always wanted a house with a red door.
The Stirring is a church, and it's coffee house is spectacular, but is surrounded by auto mechanics, an auto parts store, and the huge, sterile post office. It's in a horrible part of Redding, just off of I-5...and it's AMAZING. (I am from Chicago, and we have such places as Intelegencia, Metropolis, Le Colombe, and, well, the coffee game is strong.)
...and The Stirring is better. The coffee is just on par with those places, with two main local roasters supplying beans. The nitro cold brew is a highlight, and they have hemp milk, which is a must for me. Because real estate is cheap, it's a massive place, the acoustics are perfect...you can hear your coffee buddy using conversational voice over the perfectly mixed music, and the general coffeehouse "buzz"...but not the conversation at the table next to you, if that makes sense...
ANYWAY...
Said women came in, were in wonder, and one sat down at my table, curious as to what I was writing. We chatted for a bit...turns out she is Israeli, just had a birthday, and loves Shakespeare. (Thus her birthday trip to Ashland...I thought perhaps she was a witch, as people in Ashland tend to be into such things, and sometimes witches are quite beautiful...as was this woman...but I digress.)
We exchanged information, and after she left, I googled her. (...as it's terribly impolite to Google someone in their presence...) Turns out she is one of the most accomplished movement teachers in the United States, helped to pioneer the use of the foam roller in modern rehabilitative practices, and is one of the top Feldenkrais teachers in the world.
Right. Just your typical Monday. In the middle of nowhere, just off of I-5.
Maari Christiante.
Maari is a legend. I am so honored that she's my friend. Her art is whimsical and other-worldly...it takes you places! She's an artist from Austin, Texas, and is here doing school with me. Did I mention she's amazing?!
We ran into each other at the Stirring several times this week, and during one such meeting, she challenged me to celebrate my failures...which is proof that I've made an attempt at something new. It made me realize how much I avoid failure...I think I'm going to write more on this topic!
(...the very fact that I'm writing this blog is a celebration of failure! I explained to her that my ability does not match my taste. She said write anyway. So here you have it...)
...but yes, Maari is a legend.
Gill K.
Today, I had the pleasure of having coffee with my friend, Gill. (...at The Stirring, of course...) As Gill is a proper Brit, she had English Breakfast Tea. She is an EPIC woman...she survived breast cancer, using juicing, supplements, exercise and lots and lots of prayer. She's been successful in the corporate sector, and has also done charity and mission work in some very tough places.
I was feeling really discouraged today, but she broke it off of me, in Jesus' name, and reminded me of the power of the cross of Jesus. She is a true lioness...so strong and powerful!
So there you have it...my adventures in coffee houses...mostly in the Stirring...this week...oh, and as I knocked my French Press off the counter as I was prepping my morning coffee, and it shattered into a million pieces, which meant I went to Starbucks this morning...no adventures to report...just my favorite barista there, Bonnie. Bonnie is amazing...she remarked on my sequined Nine West computer case...we both agree sparkly things are "neutrals" and should be worn with everything. (Her glasses and her name tag were rhinestone encrusted...:-)
So that's a wrap! I'm so thankful for these people-treasures who light up my life! (...and for great ambiance, artistry through coffee...)
Cheers and peace!
p.s. These photos are not my own...they are from the internet...xoxo, A.
The Saturday Edit
Hello there! Welcome to my very first Saturday Edit.
I've decided to keep track of things I found amazing or entertaining during the past week. If you're interested in what makes me smile...or go on a rant, please keep reading.
First up...
F A S H I O N
This. Purse.
I've decided to keep track of things I found amazing or entertaining during the past week. If you're interested in what makes me smile...or go on a rant, please keep reading.
First up...
F A S H I O N
This. Purse.
Chanel classic flap bag
Help. Literally, Help. Now you know that I am not into having a lot of things. Maybe you don't know that. But please know that at the time of this post, I own three pairs of ill-fitting jeans, exactly 3 pairs of shoes, (not including my two pairs of flip-flops, and two shirts that are presentable enough to wear out of the house. I've not yet been in a position to own much, nor do I feel like I need clothing pieces for status, or to feel good about myself.
I love beautiful, well-made things; I love fashion and I love style, and this piece is eponymous as being all three.
I just look at it and almost start to cry, my heart is so happy.
I'm quite particular. It must be lambskin, but hardware is negotiable. I thought I'd prefer gunmetal hardware...but the gold gets me every time.
M U S I C
I'm still enjoying James Bay's "Let It Go"...and Bryan and Katie Towalt's new "Champion" is very nice.
F O O D
Chia seeds. I'm enjoying chia seeds, or rather chia pudding. I mix chia seeds with coconut milk or water, I add stevia or honey, a pinch of salt, some organic steel cut oats, if I need carbs, and serve with (a healthy dollop) of almond butter. (...and sometimes chocolate chips.)
Tip: Not to jump and land too heavily on the Mason Jar bandwagon, but it's nice to make chia pudding in said jars.
[Steps politely off]
B L O G
I've newly discovered the lovely couple that is Lydia Elise Millen and Ali (Alistair) Gordon. They have beautiful blogs and images, their YouTube videos are stunningly edited...brilliant use of music, and they stay in their lane, meaning they work very hard and do all their own shooting and editing, are self-taught, and self-starting. I find their story quite inspirational.
Ali was a model, Lydia a fashion blogger who began to do well on Instagram, and now they are a power couple, being approached for projects by major brands like L'Oreal.
Well done, guys. Well done.
Well that's all for the Saturday edit. There were lots of things going down in politics and pop culture this week, but hopefully this provided you all with a few moments of breathing space.
Cheers and peace!
Wonder Women (...this week's adventures at The Stirring...)
Well, we made it, folks!
Today, I thought I'd write about some highlights from my week, which mostly involve...
The Stirring Coffeehouse
( Ok, so...I've just discovered that The Stirring Coffeehouse has no website. (?!?!) I've linked you to their Instagram...)
As I was sitting at The Stirring on Monday, two lovely women walked in, and were aghast. One was from Dallas, one from Marin County, and they were driving from Ashland, Oregon, back to Marin, having celebrated the latter woman's birthday, over the weekend.
The Stirring is a church, and it's coffee house is spectacular, but is surrounded by auto mechanics, an auto parts store, and the huge, sterile post office. It's in a horrible part of Redding, just off of I-5...and it's AMAZING. (I am from Chicago, and we have such places as Intelegencia, Metropolis, Le Colombe, and, well, the coffee game is strong.)
...and The Stirring is better. The coffee is just on par with those places, with two main local roasters supplying beans. The nitro cold brew is a highlight, and they have hemp milk, which is a must for me. Because real estate is cheap, it's a massive place, the acoustics are perfect...you can hear your coffee buddy using conversational voice over the perfectly mixed music, and the general coffeehouse "buzz"...but not the conversation at the table next to you, if that makes sense...
ANYWAY...
Said women came in, were in wonder, and one sat down at my table, curious as to what I was writing. We chatted for a bit...turns out she is Israeli, just had a birthday, and loves Shakespeare. (Thus her birthday trip to Ashland...I thought perhaps she was a witch, as people in Ashland tend to be into such things, and sometimes witches are quite beautiful...as was this woman...but I digress.)
We exchanged information, and after she left, I googled her. (...as it's terribly impolite to Google someone in their presence...) Turns out she is one of the most accomplished movement teachers in the United States, helped to pioneer the use of the foam roller in modern rehabilitative practices, and is one of the top Feldenkrais teachers in the world.
Right. Just your typical Monday. In the middle of nowhere, just off of I-5.
Maari Christiante.
Maari is a legend. I am so honored that she's my friend. Her art is whimsical and other-worldly...it takes you places! She's an artist from Austin, Texas, and is here doing school with me. Did I mention she's amazing?!
We ran into each other at the Stirring several times this week, and during one such meeting, she challenged me to celebrate my failures...which is proof that I've made an attempt at something new. It made me realize how much I avoid failure...I think I'm going to write more on this topic!
(...the very fact that I'm writing this blog is a celebration of failure! I explained to her that my ability does not match my taste. She said write anyway. So here you have it...)
...but yes, Maari is a legend.
Gill K.
Today, I had the pleasure of having coffee with my friend, Gill. (...at The Stirring, of course...) As Gill is a proper Brit, she had English Breakfast Tea. She is an EPIC woman...she survived breast cancer, using juicing, supplements, exercise and lots and lots of prayer. She's been successful in the corporate sector, and has also done charity and mission work in some very tough places.
I was feeling really discouraged today, but she broke it off of me, in Jesus' name, and reminded me of the power of the cross of Jesus. She is a true lioness...so strong and powerful!
So there you have it...my adventures in coffee houses...mostly in the Stirring...this week...oh, and as I knocked my French Press off the counter as I was prepping my morning coffee, and it shattered into a million pieces, which meant I went to Starbucks this morning...no adventures to report...just my favorite barista there, Bonnie. Bonnie is amazing...she remarked on my sequined Nine West computer case...we both agree sparkly things are "neutrals" and should be worn with everything. (Her glasses and her name tag were rhinestone encrusted...:-)
So that's a wrap! I'm so thankful for these people-treasures who light up my life! (...and for great ambiance, artistry through coffee...)
Cheers and peace!
p.s. These photos are not my own...they are from the internet...xoxo, A.
Today, I thought I'd write about some highlights from my week, which mostly involve...
The Stirring Coffeehouse
( Ok, so...I've just discovered that The Stirring Coffeehouse has no website. (?!?!) I've linked you to their Instagram...)
My current favorite table. I've always wanted a house with a red door.
The Stirring is a church, and it's coffee house is spectacular, but is surrounded by auto mechanics, an auto parts store, and the huge, sterile post office. It's in a horrible part of Redding, just off of I-5...and it's AMAZING. (I am from Chicago, and we have such places as Intelegencia, Metropolis, Le Colombe, and, well, the coffee game is strong.)
...and The Stirring is better. The coffee is just on par with those places, with two main local roasters supplying beans. The nitro cold brew is a highlight, and they have hemp milk, which is a must for me. Because real estate is cheap, it's a massive place, the acoustics are perfect...you can hear your coffee buddy using conversational voice over the perfectly mixed music, and the general coffeehouse "buzz"...but not the conversation at the table next to you, if that makes sense...
ANYWAY...
Said women came in, were in wonder, and one sat down at my table, curious as to what I was writing. We chatted for a bit...turns out she is Israeli, just had a birthday, and loves Shakespeare. (Thus her birthday trip to Ashland...I thought perhaps she was a witch, as people in Ashland tend to be into such things, and sometimes witches are quite beautiful...as was this woman...but I digress.)
We exchanged information, and after she left, I googled her. (...as it's terribly impolite to Google someone in their presence...) Turns out she is one of the most accomplished movement teachers in the United States, helped to pioneer the use of the foam roller in modern rehabilitative practices, and is one of the top Feldenkrais teachers in the world.
Right. Just your typical Monday. In the middle of nowhere, just off of I-5.
Maari Christiante.
Maari is a legend. I am so honored that she's my friend. Her art is whimsical and other-worldly...it takes you places! She's an artist from Austin, Texas, and is here doing school with me. Did I mention she's amazing?!
We ran into each other at the Stirring several times this week, and during one such meeting, she challenged me to celebrate my failures...which is proof that I've made an attempt at something new. It made me realize how much I avoid failure...I think I'm going to write more on this topic!
(...the very fact that I'm writing this blog is a celebration of failure! I explained to her that my ability does not match my taste. She said write anyway. So here you have it...)
...but yes, Maari is a legend.
Gill K.
Today, I had the pleasure of having coffee with my friend, Gill. (...at The Stirring, of course...) As Gill is a proper Brit, she had English Breakfast Tea. She is an EPIC woman...she survived breast cancer, using juicing, supplements, exercise and lots and lots of prayer. She's been successful in the corporate sector, and has also done charity and mission work in some very tough places.
I was feeling really discouraged today, but she broke it off of me, in Jesus' name, and reminded me of the power of the cross of Jesus. She is a true lioness...so strong and powerful!
So there you have it...my adventures in coffee houses...mostly in the Stirring...this week...oh, and as I knocked my French Press off the counter as I was prepping my morning coffee, and it shattered into a million pieces, which meant I went to Starbucks this morning...no adventures to report...just my favorite barista there, Bonnie. Bonnie is amazing...she remarked on my sequined Nine West computer case...we both agree sparkly things are "neutrals" and should be worn with everything. (Her glasses and her name tag were rhinestone encrusted...:-)
So that's a wrap! I'm so thankful for these people-treasures who light up my life! (...and for great ambiance, artistry through coffee...)
Cheers and peace!
p.s. These photos are not my own...they are from the internet...xoxo, A.
Sunday, July 24, 2016
Help! I'm Feeling Anxious! (Part 2)
Happy Tuesday, Y'All!
I made it to my friend's party Sunday night, and I didn't break down and cry! (...it would have been completely fine if I had, I just managed not to...)
It's Tuesday. I survived my teaching schedule yesterday, which started at 7:45a.m. and ended at 8:45p.m., after 5.5 hours of sleep, and after receiving two texts back-to-back while waiting for my first client at the park where we usually meet for her session: One from my supervisor at the gym letting me know there was a gas leak in the room where I normally teach my 9a.m. barre class, and another from said client I was waiting on, telling me she'd been at the park at 6:45a.m., thinking that's when we were to meet.
Sometimes Mondays are awesome like that, lol!
Today I ran into two friends who both said they are having issues with anxiety this summer. All three of us are in a similar situation...in school...waiting to be placed in an internship, waiting on a miracle to happen for school fees to be paid next month. All three of us also have a history of gluten intolerance, burnout and adrenal fatigue. So very interesting...
So flashback to Sunday, when I was midway to emptying the fridge in attempt to calm my nerves. I realized, as I did the self-check and the steps I described in Part 1 of this series, I needed to make a list of all the things that were weighing on me, and see if there were specific things I can do about each one.
The following is step 4 of how to deal with life when you're battling anxiety and depressions.
Make a list of the things you are responsible for, and make a plan to do those things for at least 10 minutes.
I didn't make it to the gym to lift today, as I'd planned, nor did I yesterday. This is stressing me out. I can take responsibility for that, forgive myself, (this is essential!), and make a plan to get that done tomorrow. I need to go through a box of paperwork, and I've been putting that off, too. As soon as I'm done writing this post, I'm going to do some Pilates mat work to clear my head, and then I'm going to work on that box for 10 minutes. If I'm not through with all the contents of said box in ten minutes, I'm closing it up and planning for 10 minutes tomorrow.
I can't do anything to change my bank balance, or the uncertainty of where I'm going to live in the fall, or my busy work schedule this week, but I can give thanks for my job. I can write in my planner some numbers of leasing agents I can follow up with in my free time tomorrow.
I also cannot change the situations of my friends and family members, but I can give thanks for them. I can pray blessing and peace on their lives. I can reach out to them and send an encouraging message their way, but taking on their pain and staying there, or trying to fix their problems for them is exceedingly unhealthy, not to mention disempowering for both of us.
Take a moment to sit and breathe and digest all that. If you've caught yourself being introspective again, or engaging in behaviors you're less than proud of, take a deep breath, put away the ice cream, and start over. Every second is a chance to re-engage in the adventure of life, free and full of grace for yourself, and others.
Cheers and peace!
xoxo,
Amie
I made it to my friend's party Sunday night, and I didn't break down and cry! (...it would have been completely fine if I had, I just managed not to...)
It's Tuesday. I survived my teaching schedule yesterday, which started at 7:45a.m. and ended at 8:45p.m., after 5.5 hours of sleep, and after receiving two texts back-to-back while waiting for my first client at the park where we usually meet for her session: One from my supervisor at the gym letting me know there was a gas leak in the room where I normally teach my 9a.m. barre class, and another from said client I was waiting on, telling me she'd been at the park at 6:45a.m., thinking that's when we were to meet.
Sometimes Mondays are awesome like that, lol!
Today I ran into two friends who both said they are having issues with anxiety this summer. All three of us are in a similar situation...in school...waiting to be placed in an internship, waiting on a miracle to happen for school fees to be paid next month. All three of us also have a history of gluten intolerance, burnout and adrenal fatigue. So very interesting...
So flashback to Sunday, when I was midway to emptying the fridge in attempt to calm my nerves. I realized, as I did the self-check and the steps I described in Part 1 of this series, I needed to make a list of all the things that were weighing on me, and see if there were specific things I can do about each one.
The following is step 4 of how to deal with life when you're battling anxiety and depressions.
Make a list of the things you are responsible for, and make a plan to do those things for at least 10 minutes.
I didn't make it to the gym to lift today, as I'd planned, nor did I yesterday. This is stressing me out. I can take responsibility for that, forgive myself, (this is essential!), and make a plan to get that done tomorrow. I need to go through a box of paperwork, and I've been putting that off, too. As soon as I'm done writing this post, I'm going to do some Pilates mat work to clear my head, and then I'm going to work on that box for 10 minutes. If I'm not through with all the contents of said box in ten minutes, I'm closing it up and planning for 10 minutes tomorrow.
I can't do anything to change my bank balance, or the uncertainty of where I'm going to live in the fall, or my busy work schedule this week, but I can give thanks for my job. I can write in my planner some numbers of leasing agents I can follow up with in my free time tomorrow.
I also cannot change the situations of my friends and family members, but I can give thanks for them. I can pray blessing and peace on their lives. I can reach out to them and send an encouraging message their way, but taking on their pain and staying there, or trying to fix their problems for them is exceedingly unhealthy, not to mention disempowering for both of us.
Take a moment to sit and breathe and digest all that. If you've caught yourself being introspective again, or engaging in behaviors you're less than proud of, take a deep breath, put away the ice cream, and start over. Every second is a chance to re-engage in the adventure of life, free and full of grace for yourself, and others.
Cheers and peace!
xoxo,
Amie
Help! I'm feeling anxious! (Part 1)
I'm excited to see how many people click on this post. What an ambiguous title!
//DISCLAIMER//
This blog post is not going to solve all your problems.
There. I hope that's clear.
You know that I'm only sharing my thoughts, ideas, practices and interests here. Below are some things I do when I notice something's not right. Today, the thing that made me realize something was off is that I'm finding myself dreading Monday, which is tomorrow, and also being around people.
I noticed this weekend that I've been isolating: not going to the gym or even grocery shopping because of there being too many people, and not wanting to go to my good friend's going away party. I was wanting to snack more than I should and I am craving alcohol. I've never had a problem with alcohol, so immediately I knew something was very wrong.
Aha! There's something. As I traced through my mental list, I saw a trigger: My dear friend is moving away. I knew there was more going on than just that, so I stepped away from the fridge, (and am congratulating myself, as that is a huge victory in itself...), and sat down to explore what's really going on.
(Note: Here's where I pull out the Bible. If you don't yet follow Jesus, that's fine, you can skip this, and read the rest, below, but please know, I would have long since committed suicide if not for Jesus, if so for no other reason than getting to know me better, it might be polite for you to ready the Jesus-y, Bible-y part of this post...)
In the book of Isaiah, Jesus is called the Prince of Peace. (Is. 9:6) It's often on Christmas cards, and (flashback to my days as a choral singer) it's the theme of one of Handel's most beautiful pieces, The Messiah.
Basically, if I follow Jesus, so when I notice I'm feeling anxious about something, it means I've lost my peace, and I've allowed circumstances, people, or something else affect my state of wellbeing. As someone who has had a life-long struggle with anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, and ensuing addictive behaviors, and as someone who is currently walking free of those things, I not only believe I have something credible to say on such matters, I am also able to keenly recognize when my body, thoughts, or emotions are not in alignment.
So now, yes, I pray, but I also ask Holy Spirit to help me identify if there is anything else that is wrong. Cool thing is, Jesus is also referred to as Wonderful Counselor in Isaiah 9:7, and He said Holy Spirit was Counselor, too (John 14:25-31), in the same breath He said that He left us His peace...Yay!
So yes, this is very good news, but I still want sugar, and I'm still sad that my friend is leaving, and as I begin to ask Holy Spirit why else I'm feeling anxious, I realize it's because I have a very hectic work schedule ahead of me, I'm late on some work projects, my bank balance is less than perfect, I'm looking for housing for the coming school year, and some of my friends and family members are unwell and going through hard times, and I've taken that on, too...and so on...
Thank GOD for Holy Spirit. :-) I know I need to take a step back, and start to do three things.
Step 1. Start being thankful.
This is a POWERFUL tool, for many reasons. But this one tool helped me get through many serious bouts of depression. More on being thankful in a later post.
Step 2
Refrain from introspection. Once you've identified a list of things that are making you crazy, stop. This is a very important step, especially for people who tend to be more introspective, or whose self-esteem is not where it should be. Speaking from experience, becoming overly introspective can lead to harmful thoughts about yourself, as well as to self-harming behaviors.
Step 3
Slow down. Take a nap. Make it a point to go to bed early. I know it's hard.
Have a cup or coffee or tea. (I am a wellness professional, but I drink coffee and tea and I enjoy it. Even when it's 110 degrees outside...like today...right now.) I will often drink some coffee and then nap for about 30 minutes, which is about the time it takes for the caffeine to take effect.
One of the greatest triggers of stress, anxiety, and overall poor wellbeing is lack of sleep...
I will write more on this tomorrow, because I have a feeling it's more important than I realize...
I want to be very clear that if you are really struggling and hurting, there is grace for you. If you're not following Jesus, know He will help you. Just ask to feel His presence, and for Him to help you, and He will! Trust me.
That said, as firm a believer as I am in supernatural healing, and the importance of living a healthy, self-loving lifestyle, I'm an equally firm believer that there is a place for medical help. If you have access to medical care, see a doctor. Sometimes you need medicine to get better. At twenty-one, I did. I also had the best therapist on the face of planet Earth, and he saved my life. He absolutely did not and does not follow Jesus, so to my Jesus-following readers, go to the doctor, for Heaven's sake, and look into good therapists, regardless of their beliefs.
[steps politely off of soapbox]
This is a long one, folks. Sorry.
I am so looking forward to writing more on this in the days to come.
Hugs, cheers and peace,
xoxo
Amie
//DISCLAIMER//
This blog post is not going to solve all your problems.
There. I hope that's clear.
You know that I'm only sharing my thoughts, ideas, practices and interests here. Below are some things I do when I notice something's not right. Today, the thing that made me realize something was off is that I'm finding myself dreading Monday, which is tomorrow, and also being around people.
I noticed this weekend that I've been isolating: not going to the gym or even grocery shopping because of there being too many people, and not wanting to go to my good friend's going away party. I was wanting to snack more than I should and I am craving alcohol. I've never had a problem with alcohol, so immediately I knew something was very wrong.
Aha! There's something. As I traced through my mental list, I saw a trigger: My dear friend is moving away. I knew there was more going on than just that, so I stepped away from the fridge, (and am congratulating myself, as that is a huge victory in itself...), and sat down to explore what's really going on.
(Note: Here's where I pull out the Bible. If you don't yet follow Jesus, that's fine, you can skip this, and read the rest, below, but please know, I would have long since committed suicide if not for Jesus, if so for no other reason than getting to know me better, it might be polite for you to ready the Jesus-y, Bible-y part of this post...)
In the book of Isaiah, Jesus is called the Prince of Peace. (Is. 9:6) It's often on Christmas cards, and (flashback to my days as a choral singer) it's the theme of one of Handel's most beautiful pieces, The Messiah.
Basically, if I follow Jesus, so when I notice I'm feeling anxious about something, it means I've lost my peace, and I've allowed circumstances, people, or something else affect my state of wellbeing. As someone who has had a life-long struggle with anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, and ensuing addictive behaviors, and as someone who is currently walking free of those things, I not only believe I have something credible to say on such matters, I am also able to keenly recognize when my body, thoughts, or emotions are not in alignment.
So now, yes, I pray, but I also ask Holy Spirit to help me identify if there is anything else that is wrong. Cool thing is, Jesus is also referred to as Wonderful Counselor in Isaiah 9:7, and He said Holy Spirit was Counselor, too (John 14:25-31), in the same breath He said that He left us His peace...Yay!
So yes, this is very good news, but I still want sugar, and I'm still sad that my friend is leaving, and as I begin to ask Holy Spirit why else I'm feeling anxious, I realize it's because I have a very hectic work schedule ahead of me, I'm late on some work projects, my bank balance is less than perfect, I'm looking for housing for the coming school year, and some of my friends and family members are unwell and going through hard times, and I've taken that on, too...and so on...
Thank GOD for Holy Spirit. :-) I know I need to take a step back, and start to do three things.
Step 1. Start being thankful.
This is a POWERFUL tool, for many reasons. But this one tool helped me get through many serious bouts of depression. More on being thankful in a later post.
Step 2
Refrain from introspection. Once you've identified a list of things that are making you crazy, stop. This is a very important step, especially for people who tend to be more introspective, or whose self-esteem is not where it should be. Speaking from experience, becoming overly introspective can lead to harmful thoughts about yourself, as well as to self-harming behaviors.
Step 3
Slow down. Take a nap. Make it a point to go to bed early. I know it's hard.
Have a cup or coffee or tea. (I am a wellness professional, but I drink coffee and tea and I enjoy it. Even when it's 110 degrees outside...like today...right now.) I will often drink some coffee and then nap for about 30 minutes, which is about the time it takes for the caffeine to take effect.
One of the greatest triggers of stress, anxiety, and overall poor wellbeing is lack of sleep...
I will write more on this tomorrow, because I have a feeling it's more important than I realize...
I want to be very clear that if you are really struggling and hurting, there is grace for you. If you're not following Jesus, know He will help you. Just ask to feel His presence, and for Him to help you, and He will! Trust me.
That said, as firm a believer as I am in supernatural healing, and the importance of living a healthy, self-loving lifestyle, I'm an equally firm believer that there is a place for medical help. If you have access to medical care, see a doctor. Sometimes you need medicine to get better. At twenty-one, I did. I also had the best therapist on the face of planet Earth, and he saved my life. He absolutely did not and does not follow Jesus, so to my Jesus-following readers, go to the doctor, for Heaven's sake, and look into good therapists, regardless of their beliefs.
[steps politely off of soapbox]
This is a long one, folks. Sorry.
I am so looking forward to writing more on this in the days to come.
Hugs, cheers and peace,
xoxo
Amie
Thursday, July 21, 2016
Five things...
Five things I'm pondering today:
1.) God's faithfulness.
God is so faithful. Sometimes it takes me by surprise.
2.) Our faithfulness.
Faithfulness is a fruit of Holy Spirit described in Galatians 5. Is it possible for people to be faithful to their partners, to their families, to an idea or a workout plan, without Holy Spirit inside of them?
Holy Spirit's presence is so strong in the world, I suppose that pervasiveness makes it possible for people who are not acquainted with Him to manifest His qualities therein. That said, why is it so hard for some people who have Holy Spirit inside them to manifest His characteristics and display His gifts?
3.) Poverty.
It needs to end. Little kids should have abundant safety, food, and access to music lessons. Period. So do big kids, and big, big kids, (also known as adults...).
4.) Balmain.
Olivier Rousteing, are you really famous because you are a prodigy, or because you are friends with Kim K. and an wonder at wielding the tool that is Instagram?
5.) The athleisure trend.
I'm shocked by the fact that I'm wearing gym shoes with jeans, and it's socially acceptable, and actually looks cool.
1.) God's faithfulness.
God is so faithful. Sometimes it takes me by surprise.
2.) Our faithfulness.
Faithfulness is a fruit of Holy Spirit described in Galatians 5. Is it possible for people to be faithful to their partners, to their families, to an idea or a workout plan, without Holy Spirit inside of them?
Holy Spirit's presence is so strong in the world, I suppose that pervasiveness makes it possible for people who are not acquainted with Him to manifest His qualities therein. That said, why is it so hard for some people who have Holy Spirit inside them to manifest His characteristics and display His gifts?
3.) Poverty.
It needs to end. Little kids should have abundant safety, food, and access to music lessons. Period. So do big kids, and big, big kids, (also known as adults...).
4.) Balmain.
Olivier Rousteing, are you really famous because you are a prodigy, or because you are friends with Kim K. and an wonder at wielding the tool that is Instagram?
5.) The athleisure trend.
I'm shocked by the fact that I'm wearing gym shoes with jeans, and it's socially acceptable, and actually looks cool.
Sunday, July 10, 2016
No More Boxes, Part 1
I am so angry at the injustice what is happening right now in America. I am outraged. I have waited to share my thoughts so that they would not be reactionary, but responsive. As I prayed and pondered this morning, these are some words that came from heart, to head and through hands...
.(..this is not a sermon; yet, with enough polishing, it could possibly become one.)
In John 17, Jesus prayed a very famous prayer. It was the night He was betrayed. He knew what was coming, and He was praying for us. In His fervency for us, He sweat blood as He prayed that we [all the people He died for, which is everyone...] would be one, as He and the Father are one.
Note that He prayed we would be "one." Not "same." "One."
I am a woman. I am created in the image of God. A man is equal to me, as we are both created in the image of God. There are attributes that make us different from one another, which should all be celebrated, as there are differences between Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, which we give thanks for and celebrate. They co-exist as equal, but different, and as One.
So we, as the body of Christ, who are bought with His blood, are one. Different, with distinct facets of greatness that set us apart, one from another. Different in ways which reflect the image of God, and which, when we walk in unity, help each one of us become our highest selves.
We are all under the Blood, so whether white, black, Latina, Asian, Native American, man, woman, or even child, be reminded today, that He so passionately desired us to live as one that He sweat blood.
He, like we, bleed red, so in that vein, may we live as one.
Saturday, July 2, 2016
Women in Ministry, Part 1
This is the link to an article a friend of mine recently posted on Facebook.
(...yes, I'm still on Facebook, and yes, today I had too much time on my hands and was scrolling my news feed, which, again, yes, is something I'm making it a point to do less of...so I can spend more time on Snapchat... <3)
The article is linked here. Have a read.
The article addresses a woman's place in the church. What's interesting, is women in Islam are raising questions about their places within their religion.
Since I am not religious, my questions are not the same, but I am a firm follower of Jesus, and I believe the Bible is the inerrant word of God, so for many years, I lived a very tormented and confused life.
I thought it was God who was angry with me and out to get me. I thought it was God Who was disappointed with me for being female, and I was angry with Him for making me that way.
This could go in many directions. My story is quite involved, and the reason I'm still alive is Jesus, but for many years, I wrestled with God and completely mistrusted Him...and it was because of the church.
I am going to write about this subject more than once, and I'm going to simply share my story, because I know there is power in story, and it's less offensive than opinion. You have the right to your opinion. I have the right to mine, and I'm not trying to change anyone's mind...my goal in life is to change my own for the better every day, and to live and share from that place.
So right, then. I was depressed and very suicidal because the God who actually died to set me free from every curse, including the one that put husbands over wives in Genesis, was being modeled for me by pastors and authority figures as angry, vengeful, two-faced, oppressive, demanding, demeaning and tyrannical...just to name a few things...
But the Bible they claimed as inerrant says that God Himself says He is good, gives good gifts, is kind, merciful, patient, and LOVE, for Heaven's sake. (eg: Exodus 33:17-23, 34:5-9; James 1:17; 1John 4:7-5:4)
When Jesus taught His disciples to pray, He began with: "Our Father, Who art in Heaven..." (I'll write on that amazing gem another time...it's SO awesome!), and on down the line, He prayed: "...Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth, as it is in Heaven..." (Matthew 6:9-13)
That posed a problem for me, or so I thought. If the church is modeling oppression of women by not allowing them to have places of leadership and equal say, and they are to be leading the charge for the world and are supposed to be advancing the rule and reign of God on the earth to make it look like God's kingdom, Heaven...then that's a problem, and I should probably not serve God.
And this posed another problem, because I'd had experiences of God that were not at all like what I read about in scripture through the lens of what I was being shown and taught in the church...
So if I committed suicide, did I really want to go to Heaven? And did I want to live? No.
The plot thickens and the story does get better, I promise...stay tuned...(because obviously I have chosen to live...and I'm in ministry school!!!)
(...yes, I'm still on Facebook, and yes, today I had too much time on my hands and was scrolling my news feed, which, again, yes, is something I'm making it a point to do less of...so I can spend more time on Snapchat... <3)
The article is linked here. Have a read.
The article addresses a woman's place in the church. What's interesting, is women in Islam are raising questions about their places within their religion.
Since I am not religious, my questions are not the same, but I am a firm follower of Jesus, and I believe the Bible is the inerrant word of God, so for many years, I lived a very tormented and confused life.
I thought it was God who was angry with me and out to get me. I thought it was God Who was disappointed with me for being female, and I was angry with Him for making me that way.
This could go in many directions. My story is quite involved, and the reason I'm still alive is Jesus, but for many years, I wrestled with God and completely mistrusted Him...and it was because of the church.
I am going to write about this subject more than once, and I'm going to simply share my story, because I know there is power in story, and it's less offensive than opinion. You have the right to your opinion. I have the right to mine, and I'm not trying to change anyone's mind...my goal in life is to change my own for the better every day, and to live and share from that place.
So right, then. I was depressed and very suicidal because the God who actually died to set me free from every curse, including the one that put husbands over wives in Genesis, was being modeled for me by pastors and authority figures as angry, vengeful, two-faced, oppressive, demanding, demeaning and tyrannical...just to name a few things...
But the Bible they claimed as inerrant says that God Himself says He is good, gives good gifts, is kind, merciful, patient, and LOVE, for Heaven's sake. (eg: Exodus 33:17-23, 34:5-9; James 1:17; 1John 4:7-5:4)
When Jesus taught His disciples to pray, He began with: "Our Father, Who art in Heaven..." (I'll write on that amazing gem another time...it's SO awesome!), and on down the line, He prayed: "...Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth, as it is in Heaven..." (Matthew 6:9-13)
That posed a problem for me, or so I thought. If the church is modeling oppression of women by not allowing them to have places of leadership and equal say, and they are to be leading the charge for the world and are supposed to be advancing the rule and reign of God on the earth to make it look like God's kingdom, Heaven...then that's a problem, and I should probably not serve God.
And this posed another problem, because I'd had experiences of God that were not at all like what I read about in scripture through the lens of what I was being shown and taught in the church...
So if I committed suicide, did I really want to go to Heaven? And did I want to live? No.
The plot thickens and the story does get better, I promise...stay tuned...(because obviously I have chosen to live...and I'm in ministry school!!!)
Friday, July 1, 2016
Brave is...
To the single mom, who manages a baby in a stroller, a toddler, a seven-year-old with a backpack and a stomach ache on a city bus during morning rush hour...
You are brave.
To the girls who tried out for cheerleading, or the solo in choir, but didn’t make it…
You are brave.
To the one who didn’t make the cut, didn’t get the promotion, whose proposal wasn’t chosen, whose meeting with the boss went really poorly...but you chose to show up and try again today…
You are brave.
Brave is what you are when you’ve stepped over the chicken line, when you’ve put feet to your faith, when in the face of fear, you have taken action.
To all the everyday heroes…
You are brave.
Saturday, June 25, 2016
If only they knew...
I freed a thousand slaves. I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves."
--Harriet Tubman
I first heard that quote when I was a child. It gave me chills, and I felt something powerful begin to stir inside me. I had been awakened.
As young as I was, I knew there was injustice in the world. It made me furious. There was fire in my bones and I didn't know what to do with it. Now I'm old enough to do something about it. I'm now holding a firehose, and it's filled with fire, and I'm determined to live in the most freedom possible, and to make sure others do, as well.
--Harriet Tubman
I first heard that quote when I was a child. It gave me chills, and I felt something powerful begin to stir inside me. I had been awakened.
As young as I was, I knew there was injustice in the world. It made me furious. There was fire in my bones and I didn't know what to do with it. Now I'm old enough to do something about it. I'm now holding a firehose, and it's filled with fire, and I'm determined to live in the most freedom possible, and to make sure others do, as well.
I recently moved houses. My new place came semi-furnished, and the process of exploring the cabinets and closest throughout the house was an adventure. There were unexpected finds, such as a baby stroller, (won't be needing that anytime soon...), two coffee grinders (oh, happy day!), and a cabinet full of old, ratty towels. As I slid my hand along the shelf above my sight-line, and said towels, I hit a book. I pulled it out, and it was a biography...of Harriet Tubman.
Thank you to whomever left it. I was just thinking that I need a summer read. It is a sign of a new season. I'm very much looking forward to seeing how reading it inspires me, and how that inspiration takes form...
Freedom and Liberty
There is a difference between being free and living in liberty.
(Two incredible men taught me about this: Steven De Silva, and Shane Mandl. Google them...they're awesome!)
Freedom is having chains removed, or the cage unlocked; liberty is choosing to live in freedom, to leave the cage and never go back.
Freedom from eternal separation from God, sickness, torment, poverty, and so much more, was purchased for everyone through the blood of Jesus on the cross. We were released into fullness of life through His resurrection from the dead.
So the cage is open for all of us, but choosing to acknowledge the fact that, without Jesus, we are dead, spiritually, and slaves to our past, our desires, our addictions, our failures and the consequences for our wrong choices and the wrong choices of people who have hurt, abused or used us, is not something everyone chooses to do.
When we admit our need, and acknowledge that Jesus holds the keys, He unlocks the cage; He removes our shackles. (Revelation 1:17-18; Isaiah 53:1-6)
The horrifying thing is that so many remain in the cage. They remain trapped, victims to their past and their mindsets from their previous lives. The truly hilarious thing is that they blame their stuck-ness on the devil.
Don't get me wrong, the dark side is very real, as is the fact that the devil hates everyone. But it's no longer God versus the devil; God is far more powerful, the Bible is clear that Jesus defeated the devil at Calvary, and has been the Lamb who was slain from the beginning of the world, so He knew the end of the story before the beginning, including Adam and Eve's choice to abdicate their authority to rule and reign on the earth to...the devil.
So since Jesus has now unlocked your cage, and has paid the price for you to live in liberty, and has given you authority over the world, the flesh and the devil, (John 16:33; Romans 6, 7, and 8; Galatians 5), it's your choice to live in the cage with the door open, or to spread your wings and fly...or be a lion...a free lion...or whatever! It's time to leave the zoo!
Thursday, June 16, 2016
Thoughts on studying sacred texts and...loving God, people and yourself...
This is what I started pondering yesterday, as I was thinking about the references I was making to the Bible in yesterday's post:
Sacred texts are often taken out of context. It's my pet peeve, whether it's the Bible, the Torah, the Quran, or the Bhagavad Gita. I'm a HUGE advocate of reading your own sacred text and devoting yourself to studying it as much as you are able. The point of continual study is that the mind takes time to assimilate information, but it also takes time for the head knowledge to make it's way to one's heart, and into their daily practices and belief systems.
I think this principle was, and is, best demonstrated by Rabbis, who study the original language and then text, to the point of memorization, and take the command to meditate on these things day and night, (look it up...it's all over the Old and New Testament...until it reached their heart and into their daily interaction and practice.
Hebrew scholars and Rabbis do this to their credit. The only downfall is that some, (not all), think they can earn righteousness and salvation through study, meditation and religious practice. That is truth in tension: In so doing, one should ask oneself if one is loving God with all one's heart, mind and strength, and loving one's neighbor as oneself. Jesus said He did not come to abolish the law or the prophets, but to fulfill them. Devotion can become misguided if it is self-centered, or for the purpose of self-justification, rather than relying on Christ for justification, salvation, righteousness, and wholeness.
That said, many Christians...and believe me, I was raised in the Church from before I was born...memorize huge portions of scripture, especially as children, for some sort of prize, and then stop there. I was mildly horrified the other day, as I sat in a bookstore cafe, listening to the discourse between two local pastors "studying" the Greek new testament. One was older, and obviously trying to teach, or "mentor" the other, but whose pompous attitude and semi-abusive tone almost made me simultaneously want to vomit and whack him over the head with his own Bible! (...if you haven't already noticed, I have a HUGE justice "button.") This man was "studying" to look smarter than someone else, instead of taking the sacred words of our Savior, the Living Word, and ingesting them through study from head, meditation of the heart, and assimilation into his soul.
What made it all the more distasteful to me is that he was "trying" to act fatherly! In no way was he reflecting the heart of the wonderful, Everlasting Father (Is. 9:6) whom he was studying...and teaching! (...and very obviously not through example!)
So. Basically, if you're relying on your study to give you an identity, make you look better than someone else, save yourself, or make yourself righteous, then stop. Just stop. Studying sacred texts for such reasons is prideful, pitiful, and pointless. As always, love is the most important factor. Jesus said we need to LOVE the Lord our God, (...not serve, study, or prove ourselves worthy of...), and to love our neighbor...as ourselves...
(Lev. 19:18; Luke 12:30-31)
Oh. Can you see the future posts coming on this one?!?!
Yes. You must love people...but you must love yourself first...
I will be writing on this soon...I can feel it...and it's part of my personal journey, so yes...future posts forthcoming...
Sacred texts are often taken out of context. It's my pet peeve, whether it's the Bible, the Torah, the Quran, or the Bhagavad Gita. I'm a HUGE advocate of reading your own sacred text and devoting yourself to studying it as much as you are able. The point of continual study is that the mind takes time to assimilate information, but it also takes time for the head knowledge to make it's way to one's heart, and into their daily practices and belief systems.
I think this principle was, and is, best demonstrated by Rabbis, who study the original language and then text, to the point of memorization, and take the command to meditate on these things day and night, (look it up...it's all over the Old and New Testament...until it reached their heart and into their daily interaction and practice.
Hebrew scholars and Rabbis do this to their credit. The only downfall is that some, (not all), think they can earn righteousness and salvation through study, meditation and religious practice. That is truth in tension: In so doing, one should ask oneself if one is loving God with all one's heart, mind and strength, and loving one's neighbor as oneself. Jesus said He did not come to abolish the law or the prophets, but to fulfill them. Devotion can become misguided if it is self-centered, or for the purpose of self-justification, rather than relying on Christ for justification, salvation, righteousness, and wholeness.
That said, many Christians...and believe me, I was raised in the Church from before I was born...memorize huge portions of scripture, especially as children, for some sort of prize, and then stop there. I was mildly horrified the other day, as I sat in a bookstore cafe, listening to the discourse between two local pastors "studying" the Greek new testament. One was older, and obviously trying to teach, or "mentor" the other, but whose pompous attitude and semi-abusive tone almost made me simultaneously want to vomit and whack him over the head with his own Bible! (...if you haven't already noticed, I have a HUGE justice "button.") This man was "studying" to look smarter than someone else, instead of taking the sacred words of our Savior, the Living Word, and ingesting them through study from head, meditation of the heart, and assimilation into his soul.
What made it all the more distasteful to me is that he was "trying" to act fatherly! In no way was he reflecting the heart of the wonderful, Everlasting Father (Is. 9:6) whom he was studying...and teaching! (...and very obviously not through example!)
So. Basically, if you're relying on your study to give you an identity, make you look better than someone else, save yourself, or make yourself righteous, then stop. Just stop. Studying sacred texts for such reasons is prideful, pitiful, and pointless. As always, love is the most important factor. Jesus said we need to LOVE the Lord our God, (...not serve, study, or prove ourselves worthy of...), and to love our neighbor...as ourselves...
(Lev. 19:18; Luke 12:30-31)
Oh. Can you see the future posts coming on this one?!?!
Yes. You must love people...but you must love yourself first...
I will be writing on this soon...I can feel it...and it's part of my personal journey, so yes...future posts forthcoming...
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Testimony time, and ten questions...
Today was a very, very good day.
It started with an exciting meeting with new friends. I can't wait to share with you the fruits of what we discussed. (Watch this space??!!)
Later in the day, I met with more new friends, and heard from an old friend that somehow, a $900+ medical debt she'd been paying on monthly was somehow lost...as in there is no more record of it in the system. "Sorry for any inconvenience, ma'am, but we can't find it anywhere. I guess you don't have to pay on it anymore..."
[GLORY HANDS! ***does happy dance for friend***] H A L L E L U J A H.
I felt a bit like doing a Q and A this evening. I chose the one from Inside The Actors Studio, though I know it comes from somewhere else. Allegedly, Proust is famous for answering these questions...at least that's what Google says. I think Siri's tired, otherwise I'd ask her...
So here are my answers. I'm curious-- what are yours? Comment below!
P. S. I have a hard time choosing a single answer to most questions, so I'm limiting myself to 2 answers for each question... xoxo.
1. What is your favorite word? Negotiable.
2. What is your least favorite word? It's a derogatory curse word aimed at women.
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Very. Expensive. Perfume. (...and hot weather!)
4. What turns you off? Monotony and bad manners.
5. What is your favorite curse word? Shit.
6. What sound or noise do you love? Streams, small fountains, and the ocean...
7. What sound or noise do you hate? My alarm.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Aerial artist (circus); tv travel host/writer.
9. What profession would you not like to do? Anything involving the DMV, or local and state government.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly gates? Since Heaven does exist, I hope I hear "Welcome home, daughter. Well done."
Tuesday, June 14, 2016
...this NEVER happens...!
That moment when you're in the coolest hipster coffee house, full of cute lumber-sexual boys with cute man buns (...like the kind in your hair...obviously!), and girls with perfectly penciled-gelled-highlighted brows...
...and your intestines decide to explode.
This NEVER happens...!
(...except in kindergarten, like five times...and you actually crapped your ever loving pants in public.)
Most of my worldly possessions of any worth (You know...the ones with the partially eaten forbidden fruit inlaid on some portion of their exterior...), are strewn about the table...and are all fully functioning at the same time...it's a great day.
...until suddenly.
So you casually re-cross your legs, thinking it must have been a false alarm.
...and then do it again, because it obviously wasn't, but blue-flannel boy in the corner has been looking at your..computer(?) repeatedly for the last half hour, and you're not about to ask him to watch your things for you...
...and then you're like...
...FROCK it...I'm goingto$HIPmypants...
So you casually stand, as if your brand-name athleisure shoes were actually Jimmy Choos, and glide, giving blueflannelboy, and Timberland-ad-barista-man your best runway face, to the infernal-ever-loving-washroom...ardently hoping to God, (...because in this moment, you're certainly glad there's One to hope in...), that. You. Make. It. In. Time.
(Addendum: The mission was a success. All ships made it successfully into appropriate maritime boundaries and limits.)
...and your intestines decide to explode.
This NEVER happens...!
(...except in kindergarten, like five times...and you actually crapped your ever loving pants in public.)
Most of my worldly possessions of any worth (You know...the ones with the partially eaten forbidden fruit inlaid on some portion of their exterior...), are strewn about the table...and are all fully functioning at the same time...it's a great day.
...until suddenly.
So you casually re-cross your legs, thinking it must have been a false alarm.
...and then do it again, because it obviously wasn't, but blue-flannel boy in the corner has been looking at your..computer(?) repeatedly for the last half hour, and you're not about to ask him to watch your things for you...
...and then you're like...
...FROCK it...I'm goingto$HIPmypants...
So you casually stand, as if your brand-name athleisure shoes were actually Jimmy Choos, and glide, giving blueflannelboy, and Timberland-ad-barista-man your best runway face, to the infernal-ever-loving-washroom...ardently hoping to God, (...because in this moment, you're certainly glad there's One to hope in...), that. You. Make. It. In. Time.
(Addendum: The mission was a success. All ships made it successfully into appropriate maritime boundaries and limits.)
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